I used to have a heart.


Marie. 18. Maryland. Zombies. Happiness.

(via ohporkupine)


I eat romantic shit up. If I were asked to just sit on a roof and look at the stars id probably internally combust

(via waterbottlesandsodacups)

(via housewifeswag)

(via housewifeswag)


man all i want is to cuddle with you and bake you cookies and make your favorite food and sit on the couch all cuddled up with you and watch your favorite movie with you and then go to bed with you and maybe listen to your favorite album with you and jump around with you and then when we get tired of doing that we could fall asleep on the floor with pillows everywhere and put my face on your chest and just make you feel loved every day of your life  

(via thechocolatebrigade)






I like calling them “boy,” “dudebro,” “douchebro,” “fedora,” and “neckbeard.” Ever call someone a “fucking neckbeard” with as much vitriol as you can muster? 5/5, would recommend.

Some other things that I find to be effective would be:

  1. Ignore him
    Not at your own expense! I mean in a dismissive way. Inspiration: pretend you’re a cat. As a cat you are above him. Pay attention to him when it’s convenient for you, at all other times he is less significant than a speck of dust.
  2. Don’t laugh at his jokes
    They’re not gonna be funny anyway. Bored stares, a single raised eyebrow, and lazy rolling eyes are optional. Bonus points: laugh at him because the real joke is his life.
  3. Call him boring!
    You’ve heard all his shit before, all of us have. That’s exactly  what all his trite sexist shit is, and that’s what he is - boring! And everyone knows it and no one likes him. 
  4. Forget his name
    You don’t even like him! Who cares what his name is? What was it anyway, John? Josh? Jason? Maybe Jude? Oh, James, right, whatever.
  5. Compliment him backhandedly
    Laugh as if it’s all in good fun. “Just kidding!” Rinse, repeat.
  6. The Handshake
    This is a personal favourite. If he says something shitty and you call him out and explain that he’s said a shitty thing and he starts to act like it’s a debate and you’re bored of talking to him then, as he’s saying shit you’re bored of hearing, start talking over him like “alrghit, alright dude, OK” and then tell him to shake your hand. As you’re shaking hands look him square in the eye and be like “but listen, [slight pause for effect] you’re still a massive asshole.” I have found thru trial and error the boys do not like this.

I didn’t think I’d have this much to say on the subject and yet here we all are. Anyway, I hope you find this helpful. Go forth and spread misandry. ♥

all my love

My favorite is to respond to awful jokes with a blank stare and “I don’t get it.” Make them explain the point of the joke to you. Push them on it when they get uncomfortable and try to change the subject — “no, come on, I really want to know why this is funny.” And if you can get them to explain it, then you can say something like, “Oh, I get it now! It’s funny because women are stupid, right?” and shame the ever-living shit out of them.

some good tips for pissing off boys. HAVE FUN

This is perfff

Another good thing to do isn’t just laugh at him. But when they make their shit-tastic jokes laugh UPROARIOUSLY. Push it. Really crank up the dramatics.

Cackle. Throw your head back. Make a show. Clap your hands like a fucking seal and just shout out, “OH MY GOD I LOVE SEXIST JOKES! ANOTHER!!!! ANOTHER! I DEMAND ANOTHER!”

Then collect yourself, fold your arms. Cross your legs. Body language is key also. Get cold and serious. Flatten your voice, “No, really. I want to hear your sexist jokes. They’re so unique and fresh. Like a Dane Cook HBO special.”

(via thechocolatebrigade)